Former Rutgers University Basketball Head Coach Mike Rice

Rutgers basketball (formerly) head coach Mike Rice found  himself in hot water, again, after footage leaked of his violent and abusive behavior against team players.  After previously being disciplined by the college, the recent media coverage got too hot for Rutgers to handle so they finally fired Rice yesterday after their failed attempt to “rehabilitate” him.  But, what’s worse has been the macho backlash, which as a friend of mine on Facebook said, “People in this country are becoming so sensitive…toughen up!”  Herein lies the problem.

When did it become okay to for us to treat each other like dirt? Why is OK for us to call people homophobic slurs to insult their manhood?  When did we decide it was okay to abuse one another?  WHO’S TAKING CARE OF OUR BOYS?!

In full disclosure, I only played one team sport and that was tee ball.  The thought of baseballs flying towards my head frightened me tremendously so I never looked back.  Now, I’m glad I didn’t.

To be honest, it just seems so horrible (also see misguided and unfair) that we as a people allow our boys to be subjected to such violent and abusive behavior.  Yes, Rice hit and spewed foul language towards older college students, but most of the arguments I have heard in support of Rice is some form of “my little league coach was worse”.  SAY WHAT NOW?!

I took music classes which was also competitive, ironically, and there were certainly times when I felt the teachers’ antics were borderline inappropriate. Did they ever call me a “faggot” or “fairy” for missing a note or being off beat?  No.  And if they had and my parents got word of it, the school would have been shut down, trust and believe.

There are certainly a lot of good coaches out there that find ways to motivate kids (and adults) to perform at higher levels, that goes without saying.  But there are a lot of Mike Rices out there.  It’s true,  in isolation, he could have done much worse.  BUT (and that’s a big but), from what I’ve heard coaches like Rice are everywhere.  People like Rice are coaching, teaching, and molding our little boys and girls and apparently most of us are OK with this behavior. And that, is not OK.

G Dep feat Diddy & Black Rob “Let’s Get It”

Harlem Residents react to the recent “Harlem Shake”. Some language is NSFW.

The Real Real Real Harlem Shake (from Power 105.1)

What do you think?

When I heard that Super Size Me director, Morgan Spurlock decided to tackle the men’s grooming industry I was admittedly pretty excited. Unfortunately, Mansome didn’t really deliver on answering the question, “what does it mean to be a man?”

That’s probably a big question for one film to answer, unfortunately that’s what it seems Spurlock set out to do with Mansome.  Too bad it doesn’t deliver on its promise, in my opinion.  For one, the sketches with Jason Batemen and Will Arnett were, in a word, useless.  I felt their tacky sequences actually added very little to the discussion of the film.  There was, however, some good discussion on gender stereotypes and the like, which I appreciated.  In fact, it wasn’t until recently that I really started to think about how my facial hair really makes a difference in how I see myself as a man.  There will be more to come on that later.

As far as the film goes, Mansome is sort of like the intriguing preface to a classic novel.  You get a sense of who the characters are and where the story might lead you but you have to read the entire book to really have an amazing experience.  The problem is, Mansome doesn’t serve you the main course.  For me, the film only scratches the surface of describing what manhood is.  But, all in all, you’ll be decently entertained. However,  if you’re anything like me, it will only leave you wanting more.

Have you seen the film? What did you think?

Researcher Albert Mannes, of the University of Pennsylvania, conducted a series of studies to determine the perceptions about balding men versus completely shaven men.  It turns out that participants found that men with completely bald domes were perceived as more masculine and dominant than men who opt to bald the natural way. Interesting, huh? Clean shaven men were also perceived as taller and bigger in size than balding men.

But here’s the rub, bald men are still perceived as older and less attractive than men with full heads of hair. Mannes, who is bald himself, apparently stated that balding men may “better improve their well-being by finishing what Mother Nature has started.”

Mannes seems to think that his studies will help more men change their lives for the better by forging ahead with a completely bald head rather than going the natural way.  I appreciate that Mannes is giving balding men like him the chance to be perceived as more dominant and powerful, but I guess my problem is that it reinforces the idea that’s all men should really aim to be.  Has anyone done research on what makes you look more responsible?  What about intelligent? Kind? I’m just saying.

I haven’t been able to read the research itself therefore I can’t speak that strongly to the methodology, but I can say that from what I’ve read from some posts online, some of the sample sizes seem pretty small to me.  I think only time, and replication, will really solidify Mannes’ findings.  While I still have many questions, I  appreciate that Mannes is giving guys with thinning manes some insight into how others may be perceiving them. Who knows, there may be a day when I have to make the decision myself.  To be honest, I don’t know what I would do.  Do you?

For more reactions to this research, check out the following:

Men With Shaved Heads: Stronger, Taller, More Dominant But Older and Less Attractive

Men: Exude confidence, masculinity, authority, and power!

Shaved Heads: Less Attractive But More Powerful

Image source: TheArtofBeingNormal.com

The men’s grooming industry is on the cusp of a boom of sorts.  Cosmetic and skin care companies alike are formulating new products geared towards men and writers around the world have noticed this trend as men across the globe are spending more and more on skin care and grooming products.  Even journalists are tapping into the changing norm in articles such as “Real men do beauty too.”  But, this new trend has some folks asking, are men becoming too “pretty”?

There are benefits to guys paying more attention to their looks and grooming habits…there is the obvious greater likelihood of attracting potential partners, but there has also been research to indicate that well-groomed men are deemed more attractive and competent in the workplace which opens up many doors as you can imagine.  While this isn’t necessarily politically correct, it’s a day-to-day reality that appearance really does matter.   Shaving, probably the largest market for men, is almost ubiquitous among men and many guys are starting to realize that shaving regularly wreaks havoc on your skin causing irritation, loss of moisture and potential scarring.

While grooming and beauty products have long been enormous markets for women, men are now starting to get more offerings as well. Companies like EVOLUTIONMAN and 4V00 offer various products such as nail varnish and skin powders and bronzers for men.  Obviously, not all men will venture outside of the box to these types of brands or products, but if you’ve been paying attention in the last twenty years you have most certainly recognized the movement from the stereotypical hypermasculine scruffy dude to the new stereotype of the well polished urbanite.  In my opinion, I appreciate the opportunity to try out new products and let other guys know about them, well because basically, this site wouldn’t exist without this switch in attitudes.  So I guess you just have to ask yourself, are men becoming too “pretty”?

Trayvon Martin

As a man of color, I have been struck deeply by the tragedy of Trayvon Martin’s death and while I don’t find it necessary to rehash or argue the details of his death I can say this for sure;  being a young, Black man in America can be a scary way of walking through the world, especially considering the profiling that occurs in law enforcement and by society at large.  I refuse to see this event as the catalyst to burgeon an “us vs. them” mentality even if others see it that way.  I hope that the Martin family will find peace and that ultimately  justice will be served.  In addition, I hope that several states around this country will revisit their policies/laws on the “stand your ground” principle.

Without getting too political, I will say that the United States has a troubled history of discriminating and violently controlling people of every race.  To me, this is shameful considering the cumulative efforts of all groups to make this country a place of peace and freedom.  That being said, we are a work in progress and Utopia is far from here.  I have hope that our country will continue to grow in our compassion and love for one another and unlearn these divisions that have troubled us for so long.  With this, I am reminded of a Langston Hughes poem named “Freedom’s Plow” which reminds me of this shared history and re-instilled some hope in my heart.  Here’s an excerpt:

America!
Land created in common,
Dream nourished in common,
Keep your hand on the plow! Hold on!
If the house is not yet finished,
Don’t be discouraged, builder!
If the fight is not yet won,
Don’t be weary, soldier!
The plan and the pattern is here,
Woven from the beginning
Into the warp and woof of America:
ALL MEN ARE CREATED EQUAL.
NO MAN IS GOOD ENOUGH
TO GOVERN ANOTHER MAN
WITHOUT HIS CONSENT.
BETTER DIE FREE,
THAN TO LIVE SLAVES.
Who said those things? Americans!
Who owns those words? America!
Who is America? You, me!
We are America!
To the enemy who would conquer us from without,
We say, NO!
To the enemy who would divide
And conquer us from within,
We say, NO!
FREEDOM!
BROTHERHOOD!
DEMOCRACY!
To all the enemies of these great words:
We say, NO!

I’ve actually seen this style worn before by rock stars and athletes but now it seems that everyday guys are adopting the “Man Bun” as an easy go-to style.  It’s worth mentioning that I haven’t seen any curly or kinky-haired dudes rocking the “Man Bun”…well not yet at least.  For more on the trend, check out this article from Gothamist.

What do you think? Yay or nay?

A samurai top knot.

Singer Gavin Rossdale rocking the "Man Bun".

“I am so sad about Ben Breedlove.  I watched the video he left for the world to see, and him seeing me in detail, in his vision really warmed my heart.  I broke down, Iam to tears because I hate how life is so unfair.  This has really touched my heart in a way I cant describe, this is why I do what I do. Why I write my life, and why I love you all so much.  Life is really fucked up sometimes, but I know Ben is at Peace, and I hope he gets a chance to sit and talk with my Dad. We love you Ben. Forever. Thank you for loving me. To Ben’s family, you raised a real hero, he’s definately mine.  You have my love.

Scott Mescudi”

Not only is it touching to have such a young man tell his story so eloquently but I’m also gracious that Kid Cudi shared his feelings on the matter, expressing himself so publicly in a way that we don’t see from other guys often enough, in my opinion.  I cried at the idea of such a young man passing even though I didn’t know him in life, however the legacy he left all of us is something pretty special.  Take a look at Part 1 and Part 2 of “This Is My Story” by Ben Breedlove below.  All the best to this family, friends and all touched by him. I’m grateful I stumbled across this story today and I’m glad I could share it with all of you.