One of the reasons I started this blog was because of all of the support I had received from women in the natural hair community. Over the past few years I have gotten a lot of support from women in the movement and I’ll always be grateful for that. Although I have had a different experience than most of you, I hope that my support of the curly-haired community comes across loud and clear.
I realize that I did not have many of the experiences a lot of you had when it came to your hair. I did not get as much positive affirmation or nearly as much discouragement. I didn’t sit in between my mother’s legs and cry from all the pulling and tugging on my hair and scalp. I’ve never even gotten my hair braided or gotten headaches from having my hair pulled so taut. I’ve never had a comb break in my hair (wait…yeah that definitely happened once!). Images in the media absolutely hit me in a very different, and arguably in a less pointed, way. I never second guessed why I wore my hair the way I did. I just always assumed guys were supposed to wear short hair so that’s what I did.
I had a chemical process once, a few years ago, when I first came to NY. I texturized my hair to get a different look, but didn’t like it enough to stick with it. I also realized that keeping up something like that would be way too intensive for me. So I went back to my regular routine of getting hair cuts every few weeks. Fast forward to today and I have been wearing my fro for two years now. I like having a new style, a new edge, and I recognize that I have a new sense of confidence in myself. There’s a bit of freedom in wearing my hair whatever way I want, no matter what other people have to say about it.
I don’t see the natural hair movement as only a women’s issue. I see it as a self-esteem issue. If embracing your curls in their natural state gives you a sense of freedom and confidence then I fully support anyone who makes that decision. If you choose to relax or straighten your hair, then my hope is that you do it as safely as possible because I believe no one should be sacrificing their health for a good-looking head of hair. In the end, I believe we’re all entitled to express ourselves as we see fit. In the grand scheme of things, it is just hair but at the same time I know when I’m not feeling my hair it’s generally not the best of days.
All things considered, I have to say that seeing women wearing curly hair, locs and fros has inspired me to do whatever I want with my hair and judging from the (re)emergence of these styles among other men, I feel comfortable saying that the boys are following suit. As the years go by I hope that other men and boys will support the women in their lives and their decisions about their hair (and bodies). If this happens, then I think you will probably see more boys and men feeling comfortable enough to take their own risks with their image and hair. We’ve got a lot to learn and I want to keep learning and spreading the word!
Sincerely,
Mane Man
Hi. I saw your story on CurlyNikki, hence here I am on your blog. Even though I’m female, it’s exciting to see a natural blog dedicated to the male perspective. I’m curious to know how male naturals care for their hair and have it look so good! Hope you don’t mind me intruding
Intruding?! You’re more than welcome here and thank you for visiting! As far as my style goes I try and keep it as simple as possible but have a lot of respect for people who invest a lot more time. I couldn’t handle it!
I just read your post on Curlynikki.com and I found it funny because I literally just finished watching a young lady rant about I suppose a bad experience with guy or guys commenting on her hair…So i thought your post was telling and I will definitley pass it along to her… stop by my blog when you get a chance, I recently started it as well ..emilycottontop.com
Thanks for your post
this is her video
I hate it that people have negative experiences like she must have had in order to make this video but the reality is not everyone is going to accept my fro, your fro or anyone’s kinky coily hair. It’s an unfortunate truth. What’s funny is that kinky hair is not just reserved for Black people. I know I’ve seen other multiracial (and other Latino people specifically) with hair just as kinky as mine! There a very few, if any, ethnic or racial groups that have naturally straight hair..ain’t that funny? Side note…checked out your site…I’m loving Roxanne!
I’m so glad you are doing this blog!!! Plus you are an alumni of a college where I hope to get a PhD in the future! Your perspective reminds me of an article by Byron Hurt about being male and a feminist. http://www.theroot.com/views/why-i-am-male-feminist?page=0,2&utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A%20TheRootRssFeed%20%28TheRoot%20RSS%20Feed%29
Natural hair is at the intersection of race and gender and all the “isms” that coincide therein. I’m looking forward to following your posts!
I’m so glad you are doing this blog!!! Plus you are an alumni of a college where I hope to get a PhD in the future! Your perspective reminds me of an article by Byron Hurt about being male and a feminist. http://www.theroot.com/views/why-i-am-male-feminist?page=0,2&utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A%20TheRootRssFeed%20%28TheRoot%20RSS%20Feed%29
Natural hair is at the intersection of race and gender and all the “isms” that coincide therein. I’m looking forward to following your posts!
Thanks for the comment Gail. Actually, Byron is a friend in my head. I’ve watched his career over the past few years and feel pretty connected to him and what he stands for. Thanks for the link, I’ll definitely check it out soon!
Hi Jor-el. I come by way of CurlyNikki.com. Love your hair. I did have a question and that was what has your experience been at work since growing your hair out and what type of work do you do. I know alot of women are often hesistant to go natural because of the fear they’ll receive backlash at their job. In many instances this is unfounded, but a few women have shared experiences of supervisors and coworkers making snide comments about their hair or informing them that their hair is not appropriate for their workplace. I was just wondering if you experienced any of this. I would imagine that a black man growing his hair out could be just as difficult, if not more so. Thanks in advance.
This is a very nice post, sweet even, Mane Man Jor-el. It’s funny because it made me think of when I 1st started my natural hair blog and my husbands first comment on my post was “Babe, you are inspiring me to re-grow my fro…I don’t know if the world is ready for that. Hahaha” and my response was “they’re not ready….” but in my mind I was like no don’t DO IT! lol, I think that was my reaction mainly because when he did have his fro he didn’t know what to do with it, he doesn’t have patience for long hair or his short hair & it would end up being more hair for me to do (I do his haircuts now too so I guess that’s not too different). But I say all that to say, that it IS a daily battle having natural hair & committing to loving it in all of its complexities & uniqueness especially in today’s society/media/based off of the area/region you live in…anyhoo, just my thoughts. Congrats on being on Curlynikki.com too!
Hi Amber, I actually have a very supportive supervisory team. Granted, I work in a social service agency and definitely not in a traditional business model so I’m sure there is a bit of more leniency because of that. However, I have to say that there are more and more natural hair styles everywhere so I think it is becoming a bit more mainstream in all areas of business and professional life. Maybe I’ll just post about my own experience in more detail later! Thanks for taking the time to comment.
[...] An Open Letter to the Natural Hair Community [...]
great article